Chemo is not my friend

So Chemo is kinda kickin' my ass. I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty hard. This morning I was sitting in front of the toilet, dry-heaving, no more puking, but just thinking, this is tough. And ya know what, it’s supposed to be. And I will get through this and I will survive. This journey is not going to be a breeze, it's not supposed to be, it’s supposed to make me feel alive and when I come out of this stronger than ever, I’ll remember that I would do it all again in order to just survive. I started crying as I was hunched down next to the toilet bowl because I thought about that chemo bell at Princess Margaret that the girl rang in the clinic. There's a big bell on the inside of the door when you exit the clinic to the waiting room, and it startled me when she rang it but even more so when the entire room of about 40 nurses, volunteers and patients started clapping. My nurse explained to me that you ring it on the way out after your last treatment. Is that not just beautiful that they have that? I tell ya what, I will ring that bell louder than it has ever been wrung before, I will scream with pride and happiness that I am done, and will show everyone else waiting for their treatment that they too will have that moment as that's what I thought the first time I heard it. I have that goal in my head and even though that finish line is way out in the distance, I can still see it. I’ve started the race which means I’m on the journey now and I will continue to be strong of mind and soul. It won't be easy on me, I can see that this is going to be tough, but so will I and I will reign supreme over this illness, mark my words.