The Things People Say

I'm going to start out by saying that it's very ironic I would have the audacity to even comment on what others say as I'm not exactly Queen of tact myself, however this is my blog; with that caveat thrown down, I'll proceed.

A few weeks ago, when I went in to work, I had to deal briefly with one of our suppliers. I've only met this guy once before and he's creepy and I don't like him. He was saying inappropriate things to me and looking at me all creepily, but whatever, he's harmless and I really didn't give it much thought but I do remember asking my boss if I was expected to work with him on anything resembling a regular basis and was assured I wouldn't be. My first encounter happened as I was eating lunch and he was telling me how my sandwich wasn't really a sandwich, for a really good sandwich he could take me to a place by his house for sandwiches... ewwww, he's about late 40s and looks like a creepy mountain man. I don't think I looked up from my computer when I stated that in fact my sandwich tasted world class and my lunch dates were reserved for my boyfriend. He muttered something I can't remember and that was that. Now a few weeks ago, the President sees me and asked me to ask this same guy who is apparently skulking around the office somewhere a question regarding a CD he had made for us. Super. I decided instead of finding this guy, I'd call another supplier who does the same kind of work and ask him the question. Sooo smart! I find out the answer without having to ask him anything. I'm feeling accomplished and very sneaky about this as I'm leaving the building, but of course as I'm heading to the elevators he is sitting at our reception area (giving our poor receptionist the creepy eyes) at the same time the President comes around the corner and says "Kelly, were you able to ask _____ about the CD?" Okay, so I now see that El Presidente hasn't checked his email as I've sent him the problem-solving steps, but the answer to the question is still "No, I haven't, but I already sent you the answer." I get the confused look in response but he doesn't stop to say anything else, and now I'm facing this supplier who is looking at me quizzically. I just start rambling about the problem and he starts to give me the answer, but I cut him off as I found out from someone else already. He still insists on informing me of the technicalities of this particular way of programming, like I at all care to know about the fun-filled world of video-streaming and I press the elevator button. He is still talking to me even though I've said I know, the problem has been solved and I step on the elevator. As I'm doing this, I hear loudly, "You've certainly gained a lot of weight since the last time I saw you." End quote.
I wasn't prepared for this. I let the doors close. Would I like to write here how I hammered him with my best weapon (my mouth) and he ran full force out of one of our 6th floor windows? Yes, but this is non-fiction. I let the doors close and just decided to instead obsess about it internally for the rest of the week. I can't believe he said that, but not because I'm going through chemo -he wouldn't know that- but that any person dealing with others in a work environment felt they could just say that! That any person feels the need to say that to another, like I don't own a mirror or something. It's not like he works at my place of business where I could go to his boss; he's contracted for projects. After inquiring further about this guy, he has personal issues apparently that make him, ummm, 'odd' so whatever, but I did tell my boss. My boss reacted how my dad would, he went really red in the face and was very angry and started loudly saying what I shoulda said to the *sshole, etc. I left it at that as I know that my boss will handle that issue for me the next time he sees him and I'm fine with that punishment. My boss, although a really nice guy (to me), is still an A-type strong sales personality so I know the hammer will come crashing down behind closed doors on his next visit to my office, and I take my comfort in that thought. Of course, I'm now prepared to see him again and in retrospect I'm glad I allowed those doors to close as it would have been beating a dead horse to go back after I had thought about it and attack twice. So now I get one attack and plenty of time to perfect it in my head and execute on next sighting. I'll let you know how that plays out when it does.

Next is yet another work situation. This is with someone I really enjoy though and he didn't have any bad intentions, but I'll let you help me with this one.
I talk a lot about my wig and how I hardly wear it out but any time I go to work I wear it. I dress more casually at work when I go in as a) I'm not wearing heels while going through this and my flats consist of runners and b) I'm wearing a hat and it looks stupid to wear business attire with a hat and runners. At least at my age it does; I haven't found a suitable hat really for work, so instead of trying the business look half-assed, I go casual. The thing about wearing a wig is you're always worried about what it looks like. I never really worry when I'm bald, strange eh? It's different types of feelings. I feel an inner strength when I'm bald and when I say bald I actually mean hat without wig. I don't very often go out without the hat, it's too cold on my head and I still want the cover of a hat. At home I go buck bald though, inside and around my property doing chores and chatting with my neighbours.
Then there's hat with wig; these are the two ways I leave my house. When I go for drinks or lunch with my friends on a patio, I wonder if someone I know but haven't seen in a while is going to jokingly walk by me without me seeing them and try and get my attention by taking off my hat and my wig goes with it and I grab my head while everyone around me screams in fright -or worse- laughs. The whole patio gasps in horror and I run off arms flailing. This is a genuine concern of mine. I do think of this and worry about it when I go out with the wig on, as ridiculous as those thoughts are.
So I'm at the office one day, working away when I see one of the guys that used to work with us but now is on contract. He is an older gentleman and knows all about what I'm going through. He even got my number and called me to wish me and my family a Happy Thanksgiving. His daughter does the annual walk for breast cancer and right after I got diagnosed, I received an email from him sent to everyone asking for donations for her walk and he was saying how uncomfortable it is to ask for money but he doesn't care because he and his family are so passionate about eradicating this disease, etc. I was obviously touched on a very personal level and was just at that time starting along this journey, so emailed him and told him why I'd be donating to her walk. He was very distraught over this news, especially because of my age (I'd put him to be close to 60) and has been in constant contact with me. So he knows he's about to see me at the office, I hear him coming a mile away and get up out of my chair to go and accept the incredibly strong and painful bear hug I'm about to receive, and as I wraps my arms around him, he.... yes. He whips off my hat!!! My wig mercifully didn't go with it but I now have my wig fully exposed without the hat! My wig has bangs and is never worn without the hat as I look ridiculous like that, I don't care that I cover up a $1200 wig with a hat, this is how I like to wear it and that is that.
So now my wig is fully exposed with bad hat head with the bangs sticking straight out. Half the sales team faces my desk. My arms are around him and I'm looking around for a place to run, I start to back into one of the offices behind me but my arms are still around him and my head is on his shoulder and I'm saying put it back on my head! He does and I arrange it and I don't know how to react. It's all a blur from here, but I'm still to this day not sure why he did that. Is it because he's older and simply didn't realize it was a wig but was yanking my hat off as I'm at work and indoors and a lot of older generations find this disrespectful? Or did he know it was a wig but was doing the whole 'don't hide behind a disguise, wear bald proud!' type of thing, I simply don't know. I saw some sales people react to this and whisper to each other what had just transpired, but I tried to just go back to what I was doing, even though my heart was racing and my brain was going a mile a minute trying to go back over what had just happened.
I saw him again the next morning at an off site meeting we had, and it was just him and I there to begin with so as I was walking to his outstretched arms I said "Leave my hat alone!" and then hugged him and he was rambling about how his wife had given him so much trouble over him doing that and he was sorry, but again, I didn't find out what the reasoning was behind it. It's probably just as well that I don't know, but here's a gentle reminder to all that you never know what's under the hat that you're removing, so just don't do it. I'm trying to think back to remember if I was ever the girl to greet guys by ripping off their hats, but I'm hoping I was never that annoying person. I doubt I am; don't you people be either. I would have obviously reacted differently to someone else performing this action, but this is a really nice caring man who genuinely cares about my well-being and certainly didn't mean any harm, he just wasn't thinking those actions through. How can I fault or admonish that?