Naturopathy and Me: Oil and Water

I went to the conference after having lunch with my dad. My first workshop was scheduled for 3pm. I signed up for the workshop titled: The Naturopathic Protocol and Self Drainage Massage. I decided to finally learn what all the fuss was about as so many people tell me I should look into it. I can now at the very least say I have looked into it and am now informed on why I'll never be able to participate in this way of life. I'm sorry but I find it pretty ridiculous. First of all, the speaker kept referring to the prevention of breast cancer, which pissed me off. I'm guessing she meant preventing the recurrence of breast cancer, but she didn't say that and I could tell that there were others in the room full of people who are past the point of 'prevention' that were equally quizzical (skeptical) about this. We started with a massage, and basically it's just rubbing yourself gently around the lymph nodes to foster stimulation and this one I'm sharing so you can have the visual, but we all grab our breasts and jiggle them while tilting our heads and arch our back. Apparently this flushes fluid or something, I dunno.
Next comes the handout titled Breast Health Balance Sheet. Ha ha, these sheets are great. Basically a few sheets that have two columns; one called risk factors and the other is protective factors. There are also a few headings. I share some of these along with my thoughts.
First, there are the obvious ones (diet, exercise, genes) so it wasn't all ridiculous, I do want to say that as I know some people are devout followers of naturopathic medicine and I'm not questioning the science or the benefits physically/emotionally behind it. I question a persons ability to actually practice it in the truest sense. I'll give you some risk factors that can increase your risk of getting cancer so here goes:

No Children, or having children after you're 30
Not breast-feeding
Aging
some types or Anti-cancer drugs (yup, that's right)
mercury fillings (you should get these changed to ceramic)
root canals
Breast Implants (reconstruction after surgery wasn't addressed)
Hair dyes
Tight-fitting bra (mastectomy bras are supposed to fit tight)
Sleeping with a light on at night
Early age when you got your period
Flying frequently
Exposure to radiation (no cooking ever in a microwave and never use a cell phone and stay away from computers and all devices)
Sleeping within 2 1/2 ft of electrical devices (TVs, radio, alarm clock etc.)
Live in industrialized area
Exposure to gas stations
Use an electric blanket
Use of chemicals or industrial cleaners
Use plastics (???)
Eat meat weekly
Use dairy products
Eat sweets, sugar
Drink Coffee
East mostly cooked food
High salt intake
Feel alienation
Deny, bury repress on hold on to anger
Stress and inability to relax
Lack of a sense of purpose
Lack of joy
Loss of faith
Foiled creative fire
Ignoring your intuition

Okay, you scared? Confused? Imagine how I felt in this room with this hand out while the speaker is simply listing these off. By the way, I've listed about 15% of the actual list which was 3 pages front and back. I'm not even going to list the preventative column as it's just as realistic as the risk factors column (examples quickly of how to prevent cancer are laughing, creative expression, use all natural drugs instead of any chemicals, never eat food stored in plastic, use anti-aging supplements, use seaweeds for thyroid issues, avoid alcohol, go braless, eat all organic, have more than one baby, have 2 or more bowel movements a day, do a parasite cleanse, eat 50-85% raw food, take relaxation breaks, express your grief, go to a spiritual counseling, develop a meaningful life)

Okay, so there you go, get out there and start your life of avoidance and paranoia. Don't go near anywhere that uses chemicals, don't ingest anything that has been stored in plastic and let's stop here for a sec. We finally have some activity in the room on this point. The question is to please name some products that are not stored in plastic. One lady states she actually does eat ALL organic, yet points out that everything she buys is still stored in plastic. The speaker says yeah, yeah, uh huh, nods, her head, says its a challenge, and moves on. Priceless.

Next we talk about drinking water and how that, along with 15 cups of organic green tea a day (if it's not organic than pesticides are used therefore non-organic green tea is bad for you) is what you should ingest as far as liquid. Oh, but don't buy water as it's stored in plastic and plastic seeps into your food and drink. Some are worse than others and I don't remember what components are worse but just don't drink bottled water, unless it comes in glass, which none does. You can use a filter so long as it's stainless steel. None are. Don't use a Brita as it's a plastic jug. Sleep in the complete dark as being exposed to light while your melatonin levels are up in the middle of the night can increase your risk of getting cancer. However, you can reset your menstrual cycle by sleeping with the moonlight on you. Really? Really?

I'll stop there as you get the picture. I'm not meaning to bash Naturopathy. I agree that we as people are meant to live closer to nature than we do. We are to mimic the way of the plant to be completely healthy and is your best defense against many many diseases, but moving away from every modern convenience (but don't move to a farm as that too can increase your risk of getting cancer) is impractical. I think what she told us in that class was especially ridiculous as she didn't answer any of the real questions that came up. She pointed out that it would be hard to live without ingesting anything stored in plastic and we should write letters to our MPs on the topic to get packaging changed to not use plastic. Then she'd move on to keep reading her list of risks and preventions. I could hardly contain myself in the back row. I kept trying to look around to see if I had anyone along with me that were obviously in the wrong room, but all I could see were the backs of heads.

At the end of this almost 2 hour seminar that I found irrelevant to living in our modern world, I had a break to walk around and look at exhibits (not too much of interest in all honesty) and then I had about another hour and a bit before the reception would start. I was already bored and fed up. I had gone through the exhibits in about 10 minutes and had nothing else to do. Most people attending the conference were from out of area so they were staying at the hotel. I debated just going home and calling it a day. All I could do was sit around the lobby and chat on my phone and read through my pamphlets, which I did. I bitched to some of my friends and Shawn about how bored I was and I may not choose to stay for the whole weekend of events as so far I wasn't all that impressed.

That was about to all change.

2008 Weekend to End Breast Cancer fundraising

To make a donation to my walk, go to: http://www.endcancer.ca/site/TR/Events/Toronto2008?px=2411404&pg=personal&fr_id=1254

To join my team, go to: http://www.endcancer.ca/site/TR/Events/Toronto2008?team_id=56176&pg=team&fr_id=1254